


When you can't get in to Hogwarts

by Velliacrum



Category: Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Commercials, Community College, Disney Parody, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25694191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velliacrum/pseuds/Velliacrum
Summary: A commercial
Kudos: 5





	When you can't get in to Hogwarts

**Script for Ad for Browne's Correspondence College of Witchcraft**

_The Commercial is in the style of an "Online University" filled with abstract shapes and PowerPoint style bullet points._

_Scene: Open with excerpt of Emelius Browne doing his side stage at the beginning of The Movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks._

**Emelius Browne:**

"Please note the name Ladies and Gentlemen, Professor Emelius Browne. I am here to divert! To Amuse! And just! Maybe to Help You!"

_Clip zooms out to reveal its is actually Headline photo for "The Daily Prophet" issue from 194X, The Headline reads: '"Professor' Emelius Browne establishes new Magical College."_ _A modestly attractive woman wearing professional attire is shown to be holding the newspaper. She smiles newscasterly as she stands behind an empty space bearing the Emblem of Browne's College._

**Narrator:**

More than 70 years ago, Professor Emelius Browne inspired a war-devastated London with a dream: That magic could make the world better for everyone, and that anyone with hard work and passion could be a magician. Here at Emelius Browne's Correspondence College of Witchcraft we have worked to continue Professor Browne's vision of affordable Magical Education for aspiring Wizards of all walks of life.

_Testimonial, a black man in his mid thirties appears in front of a public library interior. The man is clean shaven with baby fat around his chin and a receding hairline. He is dressed in an open collar light blue shirt._

**Man:** My co-workers don't believe in magic...but they believe in me! And with their help and support I was able to obtain an Associate's in Alchemical Engineering in less than 7 months.

_Narrator returns. Surrounded by images of smiling adults in front of their computer._

"Browne's Correspondence College is flexible, allowing you to study magic on your own schedule, with financing plans that can meet anyone's price point."

_Another Testimonial. Heavy set woman, wearing sensible attire. She speaks with a lower-class British accent._

**Woman:** "Sure I would have liked to go to Hogwart's, but Life Happens. Emelius Browne's College has the courses I need to develop the skills employers look for. Thanks to Browne's College, this Single Mom was able to balance work and family while still obtaining a degree in wand production."

The Narrator returns stage right. Opposite her is a list of Companies and Ministry of Magic Departments with the heading "Alumni of Brown's College Work at."

 **Narrator:** Emelius Browne's Correspondence College of Witchcraft has the Teachers and curriculums to build the skills you want, and the skills employers look for.

_Testimonial: A younger man, wearing a polo shirt and khakis, and a $20 hair cut._

**Young Man:** Two years ago, I would have never thought I would be working as a Nurse practitioner at St. Mungos. But thanks to Browne's Correspondence College of Witchcraft, my degree in Healing Magic opened the door to new opportunities. Don't be afraid to make the leap towards the career you want.

_Narrator returns, looking directly at the camera, the School Logo, website and number clearly visible._

**Narrator:**

Don't Wait for an owl to deliver you a better life, change your life by magic! Call the admissions office of Browne's Correspondence College of Magic today!

_Narrator fades off, School Emblem takes the forefront of the screen._

**Disembodied male voice:** Emelius Browne's Correspondence Collège of Witchcraft. Change your life by magic!

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably not going to do anything with this. I just thought it was funny. Feel free to build off of it if you want. I was thinking it could be Dan Harmon's Community set in the Harry Potter Universe, but you could make it sincere also.


End file.
